|Canyon Ranch in Tucson, Arizona|
Until this guy walks in and sits down across the way. "How do you make this thing hotter?" he asks. So I show him how to crank the steam, and soon the room became mostly opaque.
"So what do you do?" asks the guy, as he tucks his long hair into a shower cap on his head, that made him look bald. I start telling him about my computer software company, what I'm working on. He's really interested in what I'm doing and asks a lot of questions. It's nice when someone, a complete stranger especially, takes a sincere and genuine interest in finding out who you are. After a while, I thought I should ask him what he did, and so I asked: "So what do you do?" Our conversation went something like this:
"I'm in a band," he says. I've been in a few bands too, and so I figure his band is currently touring in Tucson, and hanging out at this great spa between gigs.
So I ask, "Are you playing somewhere local here in Tucson? Maybe I can come out and see you?"
"No, we're getting ready to go on a big tour - collecting our strength, getting clean and sober, but still having fun.
"I used to play clarinet, flute, sax, and keyboard in some bands. Not in a band now though. What instrument do you play?"
"My voice - I'm the lead singer."
"Cool! What's the name of your band? Maybe I've heard of you?"
"Wow, yeah I remember listening to you in high school. Love your stuff. You look pretty young for your age. How old are you?
"Wow, you look great for your age! You look a lot younger. What's your secret?"
He pauses for a moment, looks me right in the eyes, and with a serious expression says, "Plenty of pussy!"
And with that, he jumps up completely naked, while pulling his showercap down over his eyes, and then starts jumping around like a demented pogo stick. "Look! I'm a giant bouncing condom!" And then he starts singing a giant bouncing condom song, heads out of the steam room, and off into the distance, still singing the song.